OK Team - this is the deal: if I was running operations on a national level, this is how it things would go. It might be rough getting there, but like my favorite dictator Benito Mussolini said:
1) A ten percent across-the-board cut in the Federal budget - to include the Defense budget.
I'm not talking a ten-percent cut in the future increase of the budget, which is what they do every time they say they cut the budget. I'm talking a REAL ten percent cut in the existing budget - and NO INCREASE.
They would never miss it. There is so much fraud, waste & abuse in government organizations, all they'd have to do is cut back on office supplies (warehouses full of the stuff they never use) and they'd never use it. That, and maybe cut back on a few of those junkets they have all the time.
This is what happens in government organizations every September - they tell all their people to put in their orders and spend all their money before the new fiscal year in October, because if they have any left over, they will be cut that amount out of the next fiscal year. So there's this wild spending spree for stuff they have no need for what little amount of time of the day they work anyway, and the beat goes on . . .
2) Cut Taxes
Cut taxes across the board. The top Federal Income Tax rate will be set at 30% for the top 30% levels of income, 20% for the middle 30% of earners, and 10% for the the bottom 30%. This is all before deductions - nobody pays nothing, everybody pays something, but most people will pay a lot less than what they're paying now.
3) Drill, Baby, Drill
Go hog wild all out drilling for oil in the ANWAR, open up the Keystone Pipeline, lift any and all moratoriums on offshore drilling, frack the hell out of the shale or whatever it is, dig up all the oil sands and extract the oil anywhere and everywhere. Forget about corn and ethanol - what a waste of energy; it takes two gallons of diesel fuel to make a gallon of ethanol AND yours and my tax dollars to boot - put that diesel to good use in the engines & machines it takes to dig up all the coal underneath that National Wilderness Area Clinton established right over the world's largest seam of the purest quality of coal in the world. Use all the tax money off all this commercial activity to build at least four new refineries - one up by Detroit, one in Pennsylvania, one down by Texas and one over in California.
4) Eliminate the Department of Energy and the Department of Education
The Department of Energy doesn't make a single watt of energy, and the Department of Education educates nobody. In fact, since we started both these Carter Administration fiascos, the price of energy has continually risen and the quality of American education has gone steadily downhill. They are the epitome of worthless government bureaucracies that cost you and me and our children all the way out to their children's children a lot of money. Get rid of them.
5) Make government employees merit-based, just like private employment
If I was in charge, the days of government employment-for-life to a cushy retirement would be a distant memory. You produce results or you're gone just like in the real world and we think long and hard about getting rid of your position permanently before we authorize a replacement.
Oh yeah, and no unions for public employees, either. Unions for what? To negotiate against 'We The People'? Even FDR was against that. You want to be a union member, go out there into the cold cruel world and get a real job and join a union that way.
Exception to my brothers in law enforcement and emergency services - their professions are unique, the work is incredibly challenging and they need all the help they can get. That is different.
6) Sell NASA
The time for the absolute commercialization of space is long overdue. Columbus made it to the New World under government sponsorship, but the operation went commercial in very short order and was an overwhelming success, from a free enterprise point-of-view. Sell NASA and all its facilities to private, commercial space launch enterprises. If there's anything out there worth overcoming gravity to get our hands on, they're find it, mine it and bring it back to Earth to cut it up into mood rings or pet rocks or whatever.
7) Welfare Reform
Welfare is for those who REALLY need it - in other words, you need to be missing body parts to qualify. If you're able to work, we will give you a shovel and you can go to work digging up all that coal or fixing the roads in and out of the oil fields.
To qualify for Welfare or food stamps you need to be a US citizen so all you illegals need not apply, and you need to pass a drug test. I expect to wipe at least ninety percent off the roles in short order.
8) Voter ID
In order to eliminate even the question of voter fraud, Voter ID will be mandatory. But not everyone can vote; criminals cannot vote, neither can non-citizens or dead people. In fact, in order to qualify to vote, you have to be of age, be a taxpayer and own land. OK - but what about urban professionals who are productive members of society but do not vote? Well, if they own stock in companies, they own real estate by proxy - they qualify. You have to have some skin in the game to be able to vote - that's only fair.
9) Illegal Aliens
You walk across our borders and this is how it works: we give you an ID card - its an electronic ID card that you have to swipe just like when you buy stuff at the store. We know where you are and what you are doing, and we tax you. You get five years in the US to make your pile then you're out of here. No overstaying because you can't work without that card, and no anchor babies. Any babies you make while you are here go with you. They are not US citizens by accident of geography. We won't even have to amend the Constitution; 'Natural born Americans' as far as I'm concerned includes Canadians and Mexicans - they are part of North America - for that matter anybody born anywhere in THE Americas - North, South, Central or the Caribbean - is some kind of American. That is not the same thing as US citizen.
Only possible exception is if you agree to six years in the military. I will enjoy establishing the American equivalent of the Foreign Legion and you can earn your citizenship the same way I earned mine - the Ancient Roman way.
10) Equal Opportunity
If you say you're black, we'll run a DNA test on you and if you have a single drop of white blood in you, then you're not black. If you say you're white, we'll do the same and if you have a single drop of black blood in you, then you're not white. Likewise for the Orientals, Hispanics, Arabs, everybody.
In other words, no more racial quotas, equal opportunity, playing the race card, nothing. Everybody is equal and everything will be merit-based, just like in professional sports and the entertainment industry - two areas that minorities excel in, oddly enough.
11) The Death Penalty
If I become President there won't be a Death Row there will be a Death Week. And to hell with that pussyfied 'lethal injection' crap. You heard of the electric chair? Well, I'd like to introduce the world to the ELECTRIC BLEACHERS.
But just to prove that I'm not entirely heartless, there will be a comprehensive parole plan - criminals not on Death Row will be kept in large encampments surrounded by triple zones of electrified chainlink fence topped with bands of razor wire, located within the impact areas of large US military bases surrounded by batteries of howitzers of all caliber. If the criminals survive a thousand barrages of artillery fire with some A-10 Warthogs to work them over and some B-52 arc light strikes thrown in for good measure, they will be considered "cured" and they can go out into society. If they fuck up a second time, they are incurable - criminally insane - and so it's the electric bleachers for them.
12) Gun Control
My proposal is to arm the Citizenry: make firearms training & possession mandatory for all law-abiding males 16-65 i.e. the original definition of "militia" - OK in this day & age we can include the females. Everyone knows the female of the species is more deadly than the male, especially when defending their young. Allow teachers to carry in schools, and everybody else to carry all over the place ESPECIALLY on planes and in airports.
The sidearm will become the badge of a law abiding citizen, and mass shootings will become an extinct phenomenon of the past.
13) Gay Marriage
The State endorses and encourages the institution of marriage for a reason; to ensure the next generation. We need kids, and kids need a mom and a dad - that is the best and most successful way of raising happy and healthy children - and so we should encourage this as much as possible. There is no "gay" DNA, for all we know gay is a kink and as far as transgenders go, getting an lop-a-dicktomy doesn't make a man into a woman - he still has a prostate gland and he sure as hell doesn't have uterus. Lets face it, the only reason gays want to get married is to beat the tax man and that goes right back to the State endorses and encourages the institution of marriage to ensure the next generation. When two men can get together or two women can get together and make a baby, I will be for gay marriage.
If we did only half of the above, this country would be in ten times better shape than what it is now. Just by doing the first three on the list, we will be able to pay off the National Debt in about ten years. That's my story and I'm sticking to it . . .