Friday, May 30, 2014


If they ever put me in charge there'd be a few changes around here quick-smart. First priority of business is National Security, Energy-Independence and Pay-Down-The-Debt - which are really all the same thing when you think about it.

National Security Policy: The blood of our Warrior Class is too precious to waste on wandering into senseless conflicts for altruistic Kumbaya-motivated themes. From this point onward, the American War Machine will be engaged discriminately but decisively on the places where the Evildoers dwell. It will only take one or two cities reduced to rubble brick by brick to get the message out on the street that the Americans do NOT f*ck around and so therefore do NOT f*ck with them.

We won't even have to use nuclear force or B-52 arc-light strikes to achieve this. I suggest artillery, tanks plus a healthy compliment of Marines and Army Infantry and some AC-120 Spectre gunship missions just for the visual effect if nothing else. Word will get out on the street: do NOT f*ck with the Americans.

Energy Independence Policy: “Drill, Baby, Drill!” Drill everywhere from the ANWAR to off the coast of California to the Bakken Formation to the Gulf. Frack the hell out of the shale for all the natural gas, build a hundred Keystone pipelines, do it all.

Make America such a producer of oil and natural gas we’ll put the Arabs out of business. Millions of jobs will be created and the tax revenues will put a dent in the National Debt, speaking of which . . .

The National Debt is a crushing burden that our grandchildren and great-grandchildren will be paying off if we do not reverse current trends.

Pay-Down-The-Debt Policy An immediate across-the-board ten percent reduction on the Federal budget. I’m not talking one of those phony baloney budget “cuts” where it’s a ten percent cut out of next years increase, no. I’m talking a legitimate ten percent cut across the board – there is so much waste, fraud and abuse in the Federal bureaucracy they’ll never miss it. Couple that with a maximum tax rate of 30% - which will result in more $$$ in people’s pockets and the resulting economic boom = increased tax revenues and we will pay off that National debt in ten years.

Immigration Policy: The ‘Undocumented Workers’ situation is so far out of control - when I immigrated here they were called ‘Illegal Aliens’ – nowadays that phrase is on the Verboten List - my, my, my how times have changed. Shipping them all out would be a logistical nightmare and our country would look like the Third Reich – it’s simply not going to happen. But ‘Amnesty’ is something you do for criminals and any criminals amongst our ‘Undocumented’ ones NEED to be shipped out.

Many of the illegals have been here so long they've picked up the American culture. This young lady here is showing us the Hawaiian Good Luck Sign.

Here’s my solution for the Immigration Problem: all the ‘Undocumented Workers’ need to line up and get DOCUMENTED (I know what a concept, right?) Anybody sneaking across the border and everybody already here who got here that way gets an electronic card with a smart chip in it. You can’t work, you can’t open a bank account, you can’t get a credit card, nothing, without this card. AND you get taxed. You’ve got FIVE YEARS to make your pile and then GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM. The time is long overdue we make our immigration laws mirror the immigration laws of the lands the illegal immigrants came from. And another thing - any ‘anchor babies’ you have while you’re here GO BACK WITH YOU – we are the only country on Earth that allows people to show up illegally and if they have a kid its like they won the frikkin lottery. If I were put in charge the free ride would come to a crashing halt.

There would be a Pathway to Citizenship, and it would involve military service. Just like in Ancient Rome. For those who cannot serve due to age or physical condition, if they've been here for more than ten years and can prove they've been paying taxes for all that time, we'll work a deal. Any criminal records - whether here or in the old country - is grounds for immediate exportation. No ifs ands or buts about it.

Crime and Punishment Sheriff Joe Arpaio would be the Attorney General. Prison overcrowding? Hell, if I was President there wouldn’t be a Death Row there’d be a Death Week. In fact I’d be able to introduce my invention the Electric Bleachers. Prison problem solved.

School Shootings Epidemic: Make gun ownership & semi-annual marksmanship qualification an absolute requirement to get a teachers license plus open carry for teachers in schools. This would solve the situation immediately.

Gay Marriage: When a man can lay down with another man, or a woman lay down with another woman, and produce a baby, then I will support Gay Marriage. In the meantime it is a fallacy. Why should society endorse Gay Marriage? There is no social benefit whatsoever. The very thought that the Gay movement is the new Civil Rights movement is an insult to the Blacks, who were severely oppressed.

There is no gay DNA – to this day it is not known whether to be gay is genetic or is it a sexual kink. This simply is not known. Personally I think it’s a kink, but nobody really knows. One thing we do know is that every kid wants a Mom and a Dad. Kids have been raised in gay relationships, due to unforeseen circumstances, but this should be the exception not the rule.

Welfare: Starting immediately, a clean drug test will be required to qualify for any kind of public dole. And as long as you're on the dole, you can't vote. Just like we don't let prisoners vote.

Voter's Rights: The voter franchise is only open to land-owning taxpayers. Just like in Ancient Rome. You have to have some skin in the game in order to play. Of course, in the modern world there are many productive members of society who do not own real estate - that's okay; if you own stock in a corporation, then you own real estate by proxy.

The jury is still out on any possible medical uses for marijuana. In the meantime everybody knows these so-called 'Medical Marijuana' distribution centers have more to do with Cheech and Chong than any kind of medical research.

We'll handle it this way: until the Food and Drug Administration and the AMA endorse cannabis, any use of so-called "medical marijuana" will negate any medical insurance - because everybody knows the harmful side effects of marijuana - and will also cancel out any Federal benefits such as Medicare.

That about covers it for now. One term in office is all I’d need . . .




  2. Oh! Give the "anchor babies" to all the gay couples.

  3. minor nit, but as someone who went into the Retarded Reserves as a SP-4 with almost 20 years in grade (gotta love the CA ARNG) and who is therefore used to doing more with less, could we at least spec out AC-130's in the OPORD?

    /white smoke

  4. One term is all you need? Hell dude, you could run through this list is a few months.

    Funny thing is, if a candidate ran on these promises, he'd win in a land slide.

  5. Here is my addition to the list: Term Limits for our Congress Critters.
    The Senate, limit of two terms. Period. The House, 4 terms. NO life time benifits, just a one time lump sum of cash of let's say a half of a years wage. The Supremes, 20 years max on the bench, then mandatory retirement.

  6. Dunno 'bout term limits above but I'd be open to giving them the same BAH/BAQ as an O-1.
    Boat Guy

  7. I like the idea of "term Limits" Back in the beginning of the republic, the legislators were "part time" they had full time jobs to go back to. Because of this, they never lost track of where they came from and have a basic in reality....not the bubble known as "D.C on the Potomac" where there a re a different set of rules there vs the rest of the country. Ya noticed that all these politicians become millionaires despite making $130,000 a year...If you ran...You would get a bunch of votes except from the freeloader class.

  8. Only a 10% reduction in the fed budget? Go for 60% and see what's important to those weasels. That should also do away with nuisances like the EPA, NEA, IRS. No more foreign "aid." Lobbyists are now illegal. Every voter will have I.D. and have an inked thumb on voting. There will be no more voting by mail EXCEPT for the military serving away from home.

    When illegals are treated as illegals (NO benefits, no healthcare), they'll self-deport. Problem solved.

  9. Ditto to above, and throw in the Dept of Energy, Dept of Education, and TSA, and subject federal government agency arms purchases to Congressional approval.
    One thing you missed: Repeal Obamacare - we need socialized medicine like a hole in the head.

  10. You are hilariously backwards. You may as well be yelling at kids to get off your lawn.

  11. C'mon, admit it---this was all satire, right? Well played, sir, well played...

  12. Some of what you mention is patently unconstitutional. So be sure to start with amendments rather than bad laws.

    Saves time down the road when the endless court challenges begin.

  13. Very, very good post and I completely agree with your position on each and every topic you have commented on!

  14. Stormbringer for President! I love you man, great site, keep up the good work. We're going to get this s**t turned around!

  15. The Obama presidency is satire! I'd laugh about it but it aint fn funny anymore....

  16. "...we have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge, or gallantry, • would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other. " ~ John Adams

    Where we fail as conservatives is when we look to leaders to govern us with their morality - were Americans on a large scale living even five of the ten Hebrew commandments, there would be no place for corruption to hide.

    If America is to be saved and strengthened, it will be by her moral people, not by her leaders.