If they ever put me in charge there'd be a few changes around here quick-smart. First priority of business is National Security, Energy-Independence and Pay-Down-The-Debt - which are really all the same thing when you think about it.
National Security Policy: The blood of our Warrior Class is too precious to waste on wandering into senseless conflicts for altruistic Kumbaya-motivated themes. From this point onward, the American War Machine will be engaged discriminately but decisively on the places where the Evildoers dwell. It will only take one or two cities reduced to rubble brick by brick to get the message out on the street that the Americans do NOT f*ck around and so therefore do NOT f*ck with them.
We won't even have to use nuclear force or B-52 arc-light strikes to achieve this. I suggest artillery, tanks plus a healthy compliment of Marines and Army Infantry and some AC-120 Spectre gunship missions just for the visual effect if nothing else. Word will get out on the street: do NOT f*ck with the Americans.
Energy Independence Policy: “Drill, Baby, Drill!” Drill everywhere from the ANWAR to off the coast of California to the Bakken Formation to the Gulf. Frack the hell out of the shale for all the natural gas, build a hundred Keystone pipelines, do it all.
Make America such a producer of oil and natural gas we’ll put the Arabs out of business. Millions of jobs will be created and the tax revenues will put a dent in the National Debt, speaking of which . . .
The National Debt is a crushing burden that our grandchildren and great-grandchildren will be paying off if we do not reverse current trends.
Pay-Down-The-Debt Policy An immediate across-the-board ten percent reduction on the Federal budget. I’m not talking one of those phony baloney budget “cuts” where it’s a ten percent cut out of next years increase, no. I’m talking a legitimate ten percent cut across the board – there is so much waste, fraud and abuse in the Federal bureaucracy they’ll never miss it. Couple that with a maximum tax rate of 30% - which will result in more $$$ in people’s pockets and the resulting economic boom = increased tax revenues and we will pay off that National debt in ten years.
Immigration Policy: The ‘Undocumented Workers’ situation is so far out of control - when I immigrated here they were called ‘Illegal Aliens’ – nowadays that phrase is on the Verboten List - my, my, my how times have changed. Shipping them all out would be a logistical nightmare and our country would look like the Third Reich – it’s simply not going to happen. But ‘Amnesty’ is something you do for criminals and any criminals amongst our ‘Undocumented’ ones NEED to be shipped out.
Here’s my solution for the Immigration Problem: all the ‘Undocumented Workers’ need to line up and get DOCUMENTED (I know what a concept, right?) Anybody sneaking across the border and everybody already here who got here that way gets an electronic card with a smart chip in it. You can’t work, you can’t open a bank account, you can’t get a credit card, nothing, without this card. AND you get taxed. You’ve got FIVE YEARS to make your pile and then GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM. The time is long overdue we make our immigration laws mirror the immigration laws of the lands the illegal immigrants came from. And another thing - any ‘anchor babies’ you have while you’re here GO BACK WITH YOU – we are the only country on Earth that allows people to show up illegally and if they have a kid its like they won the frikkin lottery. If I were put in charge the free ride would come to a crashing halt.
There would be a Pathway to Citizenship, and it would involve military service. Just like in Ancient Rome. For those who cannot serve due to age or physical condition, if they've been here for more than ten years and can prove they've been paying taxes for all that time, we'll work a deal. Any criminal records - whether here or in the old country - is grounds for immediate exportation. No ifs ands or buts about it.
Crime and Punishment Sheriff Joe Arpaio would be the Attorney General. Prison overcrowding? Hell, if I was President there wouldn’t be a Death Row there’d be a Death Week. In fact I’d be able to introduce my invention the Electric Bleachers. Prison problem solved.
School Shootings Epidemic: Make gun ownership & semi-annual marksmanship qualification an absolute requirement to get a teachers license plus open carry for teachers in schools. This would solve the situation immediately.
Gay Marriage: When a man can lay down with another man, or a woman lay down with another woman, and produce a baby, then I will support Gay Marriage. In the meantime it is a fallacy. Why should society endorse Gay Marriage? There is no social benefit whatsoever. The very thought that the Gay movement is the new Civil Rights movement is an insult to the Blacks, who were severely oppressed.
There is no gay DNA – to this day it is not known whether to be gay is genetic or is it a sexual kink. This simply is not known. Personally I think it’s a kink, but nobody really knows. One thing we do know is that every kid wants a Mom and a Dad. Kids have been raised in gay relationships, due to unforeseen circumstances, but this should be the exception not the rule.
Welfare: Starting immediately, a clean drug test will be required to qualify for any kind of public dole. And as long as you're on the dole, you can't vote. Just like we don't let prisoners vote.
Voter's Rights: The voter franchise is only open to land-owning taxpayers. Just like in Ancient Rome. You have to have some skin in the game in order to play. Of course, in the modern world there are many productive members of society who do not own real estate - that's okay; if you own stock in a corporation, then you own real estate by proxy.
The jury is still out on any possible medical uses for marijuana. In the meantime everybody knows these so-called 'Medical Marijuana' distribution centers have more to do with Cheech and Chong than any kind of medical research.
We'll handle it this way: until the Food and Drug Administration and the AMA endorse cannabis, any use of so-called "medical marijuana" will negate any medical insurance - because everybody knows the harmful side effects of marijuana - and will also cancel out any Federal benefits such as Medicare.
That about covers it for now. One term in office is all I’d need . . .