MAN LAWS

- The International Council of Man Laws -

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.


2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

(c) After wrecking your boss's car.

(d) When she is using her teeth.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.


4. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.


5. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.


6. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.


7. In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.


8. When stumbling upon other guy watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.


9. You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your girlfriend.


10. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach . . . and it's delivered by a topless model . . . and even then only when it's free.


11. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.


12. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.


13. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.


14. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.


15. Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.


16. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.


17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.


21. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.


22. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex. The fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.


23. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.


24. Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.


25. The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox360. End of story.


26. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.


27. No man shall wear a professional sports team jersey with his own name on it unless he actually plays for that team, foreign countries included!


28. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say,'are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'

'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer with lipstick on your collar and slapping your Wife squarely on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next, Chubby!"


29. No man will ever receive a massage, unless there is a "happy outcome", which of course means, no man will ever receive a massage from another man.


I hope that this clears up any confusion . . . STORMBRINGER SENDS



Tuesday Bird HERE


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USEFUL DOG TRICKS

My Jack is turning into a real Jack Russell Terrorist over the presence of Lil' Furry Furbie Cuteball. To her credit Lil' Bit is standing up to Tiny, unlike her predecessor Bella who used to slink away her tail between her legs.






Why can't I have a dog like this?


Monday Bird HERE

ULTIMATE RED HERRING

I've been saying as much for the past couple years - the whole deal about WHERE Barack Hussein Obama was born is NOT THE POINT.

In other words - Obama could have been born in Hawaii, he MAY have been born in Kenya, he might be a British subject and the argument could be made that he's a citizen of Indonesia.

But ultimately it doesn't matter ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. He was sworn in by the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States, in front of God, Congress and everyone, and that makes him President of the United States, whether or not he was born in Kenya, Hawaii, or on the Moon.

Today I heard Rush pick up the ball on this subject*

Quoting from the UK Daily Mail: "Hawaii Governor Claims Record of Obama's Birth 'Exists in Archives' but Can't Produce the Vital Document."

Rush's take is that Team Obama is playing this thing, hoping to whip the Tea Partiers up into a Birther frenzy over the whole birth certificate issue. Then, at the appropriate moment - sometime prior to the 2012 election - the Democrats produce the necessary paperwork and we're all made to look like a bunch of John Birchers; Moonbats, right up there with the 9-11 denial crowd and the rest of the Tinfoil Hat Brigade.

He is a total political animal. 

He got himself elected President of the United States

- without doing a damn thing -

and then won the Nobel Peace Prize 

- without doing a DAMN thing - 

pulling off a flim-flam like this is child's play to the Bamster.

Timing is critical on this thing, of course. Rush reminds us that on October 31st, 2008, Chiyome Fukino - Director of the Hawaii Department of Health - released a statement on this issue:

"There have been numerous requests for Sen. Barack Hussein Obama’s official birth certificate. State law prohibits the release of a certified birth certificate to persons who do not have a tangible interest in the vital record.

"Therefore, I, as Director of Health for the State of Hawaii, along with the Registrar of Vital Statistics who has statutory authority to oversee and maintain these type of vital records, have personally seen and verified that the Hawaii State Department of Health has Sen. Obama's original birth certificate on record in accordance with state policies and procedures."

That tells us one thing: THE PAPERWORK EXISTS.

Think about it - for years before Obama even entered politics, he traveled overseas ON A U.S. PASSPORT. Somebody tell me how you can acquire one of those things WITHOUT a valid birth certificate showing you were born in the United States or its overseas possessions and territories?

Well, OK, there are a couple of options, neither of which would apply to BHO: a Certificate of U.S. Citizenship - such as required of children born overseas of U.S. parentage (such as children of U.S. military families) - or a Naturalization Certificate (such as I have) that documents U.S. citizenship acquired via legal immigration and satisfying the requirements of the naturalization process.

Back when I ran the S-2 shop for 1st Bn / 3d SFG(A), one of my duties was to manage official passports and visas for overseas travel. Except for contingency operations, U.S. military personnel travel on official passports. Well, we had one guy - a young NCO in the headquarters & support company - he'd been adopted at birth and raised on an Indian reservation - Lakota Sioux. He didn't have a birth certificate - don't ask me how the recruiters got him in the U.S. Army - he could simply could NOT get a U.S. passport, and as such he could NOT deploy overseas with us.

When I left that position we still hadn't figured how this guy could deploy with the battalion. I went back down to an Operational Detachment "Alpha" (ODA) and to this day I don't know if it was ever sorted out.

Bottom Line: no proof of citizenship, no passport - point, blank and simple. No matter who you are. Obama's been traveling the world - as an American - since before he was in politics. This guy's got a passport - ergo: the paperwork exists.

 

No reason to get excited, 

the thief he kindly spoke.
There are many here among us
who feel that Life is but a joke.

But you and I we've been through that
and this is not our Fate.
So let us not talk falsely now
the Hour is getting Late.

* As a member of the working class, it is not possible for me to tune into Rush during the show's regular hours. For the years I was overseas this was a struggle; the best I could do was look at the website and read the shows transcripts. Now - thanks to iPod technology - I can download the show and listen to it on my time; in this case, as I drove about on my Sunday errands.

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WAR OF WORDS

From Milblogging.com:

A war of words has broken out between Michael Yon and Jim Hanson (who blogs over at Blackfive under nom-de-plume Uncle Jimbo) and Michael Yon earlier this week over on Blackfive.net. A number of bloggers and readers quickly defending the side of Uncle Jimbo after seeing some of the Michael Yon rants.

"Uncle Jimbo" Hanson and Michael Yon

This isn`t the first time; back in April 2010 a battle between Michael Yon and several milbloggers took place after negative comments Michael made about General McChrystal on his Facebook page.

The current war of words doesn`t look like it`s going to end anytime soon; over 100 comments have already been posted on a story that was published Friday. The post has become a verbal battleground for Uncle Jimbo, Michael Yon, and a number of other prominent bloggers and readers.

More details HERE



Comment: Uncle Jimbo and I know each other from Okinawa; we re-established contact around the time I retired from active duty and into what I do now, and just about the same time STORMBRINGER kicked off. He is what he says he is . . . S. L.



Uncle Jimbo posted a story this past Saturday called The Last Spiderbender - a cautionary tale about the dark side of Public Affairs - well worth the read.


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RoKs TO THE RESCUE

South Korean forces storm hijacked ship, free hostages:

South Korean special forces staged a dramatic pre-dawn rescue of 21 seamen who had been hijacked by Somali pirates. Military commandos boarded the vessel owned by Korean chemical carrier Samho Jewelry under the cover of darkness and went through the ship systematically. Pirates shot the ship's captain during the ensuing melee, but his wounds were not life threatening. Commandos killed eight pirates and arrested five. The rescue was good news for South Korean president Lee Myung-bak, who is under fire for his perceived weak responses to two acts of North Korean aggression last year.



There should be more of this sort of thing . . . . . . Saturday Bird HERE


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NO SUCH THING AS "FORMER SPECIAL FORCES"

I've got an early morning appointment with a mountainside and there's three inches of fresh snow all over everything out there, so sorry there's no Friday Filly today - I'll make it up to you tomorrow I promise - and today's post is a retread; AMERICAN ARROGANCE by Michael Yon -

By the way, Fox News got it wrong; it's EX-Special Forces not "Former" Special Forces. "Ex" is Latin for "out of" and this is the correct way to refer to a Green Beret no longer on active duty. There ARE former Green Berets out there but these are the ones who have been removed from Special Forces under less than honorable circumstances.

Michael Yon is an honorable representative of the Special Forces community; he documents his adventures on his site: http://www.michaelyon-online.com/

I proudly endorse Michael here at STORMBRINGER.

Anyway, on to Michael's post of 13 December, 2010:

There have been many comments about American arrogance.  During my travels to 48 United States and over 50 countries - most of those states and countries multiple times - some themes have emerged.

There is a pervasive sense in the United States that we are THE best.  I've seen this in four other countries: Canada, France, India, and China. While many Americans think they/we are THE best in the world (whatever THE best might be to the thinkers of those thoughts), significant numbers of Canadians and French will inform you they are superior to Americans (and to Germans and Brits), while Indians and Chinese are superior to all of us.  Oh, and don't forget Israelis who have a tendency to burst out saying they have the "Most moral country in the world!" Israelis also say, "We have the most moral Army in the world!"  Wasn't so long ago that the Germans were likewise self-convinced . . . 

(Continued): http://www.michaelyon-online.com/american-arrogance.htm

For what its worth the ones I avoid like the plague when I'm traveling are the Australians. I hear an Australian accent in a tourist environment and its time to don the Cloak of Invisibility . . .
- S. L.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

LADY LUCK

PB4Y-1 BuNo 38892

VPB-111

This aircraft belonged to the commander of VPB-111 in late 1944 - Lt. Cdr. J.V. Barry was 'PPC'. The PBY4-1 also carried the AAF serial# 44-41279. It flew for the first time on July 1944, and was delivered to the Navy eight days later.

Derived from the B-24 bomber, the Consolidated PB4Y Privateer was deployed on long-range anti-shipping and anti-submarine patrols. It helped to close the "Atlantic Gap" and was able to provide air support in areas that had been previously out of reach from both US and British shores.

Today's Bird HERE




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