GOLF

Golf is originally an ancient warrior tradition: the clubs are actually tiny little war hammers and the little white balls represent the skulls of our enemies. When we try to knock the skulls of our enemies into holes in the ground, this represents cutting off their heads and burying them separate from their bodies, so their souls can't get to Paradise, and so they can't come back and haunt us as ghosts. Not many people know that.

For many people Golf is an extremely frustrating activity. I don't let it get to me. For me, golf is a zen-like experience. Focus, but get out of Mind. If you get emotionally involved, you'll blow your game for that day.

A professional golfer just offered to let me caddy for him, via Facebook, on one of the courses around here. I'm seriously considering taking him up on it. I'd do it just for the love of the game, and to see if I could possibly learn something.

Old Took's great-grand-uncle Bullroarer . . . was so huge (for a hobbit) that he could ride a horse. He charged the ranks of the goblins of Mount Gram in the Battle of The Green Fields, and knocked their king Golfimbul's head clean off with a wooden club. . .



. . . It sailed a hundred yards through the air and went down a rabbit hole, and in this way the battle was won and the game of Golf invented at the same moment. - The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien.

I used to live right next to Pinehurst, North Carolina and as a resident I could play 18 holes on about 49 different golf courses for $35. The year before I retired from the military and the year after I played golf almost once a week. Then the career started picking up; I moved up north and haven't played a game since 2009. I should've stayed down there & got a job driving the beer truck . . .

Golf the STORMBRINGER way.

I shoulda stayed there. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. What do I get? A one-way ticket to Palookaville!

- STORMBRINGER SENDS