They say the only difference between a War Story and a Fairy Tale is a Fairy Tale begins with 'Once Upon A Time', and a War Story begins with 'There We Were, No Shit . . .'
This happened early in the 00's - I was back at Bragg for some TDY deal . . . S.L.
It was lunchtime and I had a hankering for some Taco Bell so that's were we ended up, on Yadkin Road. I'm in line waiting for my turn at the counter, when suddenly this young blonde ponytail girlie soldier in front of me with a MEDDAC patch on her shoulder turns and points to my Combat Diver badge on my BDUs.
"Excuse me Sergeant, WHAT'S THAT???"
I've been waiting for an opportunity like this for over ten years. I couldn't resist.
"Space Shuttle Door Gunner."
"REALLY ? ? ?"
She took the hook, now I had to play the line.
"Uh, yeah. It was a program they introduced back during the Reagan Administration. Part of his Star Wars Initiative, the thing that ended up bankrupting the Soviet Union. The operation was codenamed BRILLIANT PEBBLES. You've probably heard of it, it's since been declassified."
Young Blonde Ponytail Girlie was looking at me like a goldfish, mouth wide open. I knew I had her totally hooked, so it was time to reel her in.
"They never deployed us, but we completed the training, to include backseat rides in the SR-71 - that's astronaut qualified right there - so a limited number of us were awarded the badge and orders."
Poor girl was transfixed. I had her totally under the spell. The Special Force mystique - there's nothing like it, our version of Jedi Mind Tricks.
I was spouting 100% pure unadulterated Bullshit. But I'm not a Bullshitter, I simply couldn't keep up the Bullshit. I finally said, "Do you believe me?"
Young Blonde Ponytail Girlie went red right up to the hairline.
Hell, all I ever did was THIS:
I often wonder how far I would have made it with her if I'd kept up the charade. She was really cute.