THE ETHOS OF CITIZENSHIP

Times Square Bomber Faisal Shahzad


“Why on earth did we allow Faisal Shahzad to become a U.S. citizen in the first place?”

Shahzad apparently obtained his citizenship through marriage, after several years of uncertain legality in this country. Authorities did not discern his radicalism; it is next to impossible to determine membership to a designated terrorist organization.

Background checks on immigrants are spotty and unreliable. How could it be otherwise? The U.S. citizenship system is overwhelmed by a flood of applicants and evaders.

When I became a naturalized U.S. citizen in 1986, I had to sign a lot of papers. One of them asked if I was involved on an official level within the Nazi government of Germany from 1933-1945. Other questions involved if I had ever uttered statements advocating the violent overthrow of the United States government, or had membership of any groups that shared such sentiments. A check in the Yes block of any of those questions was grounds for rejection of my petition for U.S. citizenship.

I was an active-duty member of the U.S. military at that time. As I explored post-military career options, I became aware that certain activities could jeopardize my status as a U.S. citizen. That’s right – my citizenship is conditional. It was explained to me that this does not apply to native-born citizens, but if the U.S. government is ever not happy with my activities, as an immigrant I can have my citizenship pulled and be sent back to my native country.

Mind you, I’d probably have to be selling planeloads of explosives to Gaddafi, or committing treason, for something like this to occur – one would think training with the Taliban to set off a car bomb in Times Square would put a guy into this zone, but that’s just me thinking . . .

I think this Faisal Shahzad guy qualifies for the Sean Linnane treatment. Here’s what we do with this wasted piece of human flesh: A) we interrogate the hell out of him, tell him he’ll get lenient treatment for cooperating with us to get all the actionable intell out of him we can get, and then we use the intell his gives us to send a hundred drones into a hundred compounds, mud huts and caves to kill a hundred+ Taliban scum, then B) once that’s accomplished we say “APRIL FOOL!!!”, pull his citizenship and drop him in the middle of Durga-Durga-stan, AFTER we inform all his Taliban buddies exactly HOW MUCH he sang like a canary.

Of course Eric Holder’s office will be too busy busting the law books to find ways to ensure this worthless sack of excrement has every kind of civil right and legal defense imaginable; the thought of standing him in front of a firing squad is the last thing on their minds. I can see our enemies now; rolling around on the cave floor laughing at us every night . . .