The question is not who started the War on Christmas nor whether or not we are winning or losing it. The question is who is behind the War on Boxing Day? - S.L.
Everybody knows the atheists started the War on Christmas and we are DEFINITELY pulling ahead because who other than a Godless dirt-worshiper would want to kill Christmas, and Santa Claus? The war we are at definite risk of losing is the War on Boxing Day, especially here in the States, where most people don't even know what Boxing Day IS much less the murky origins thereof.
According to Wikipedia Boxing Day is traditionally the day following Christmas Day, when servants and tradesmen would receive gifts, known as a "Christmas box", from their bosses or employers. Today, Boxing Day is the bank holiday that generally takes place on 26 December. It is observed in the United Kingdom, Canada, Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Trinidad and Tobago and some other Commonwealth nations.
But as everybody knows, Wikipedia is full of disinformation and outright untruths. This myth about servants and tradesmen and bosses and employers is early Luddite propaganda, embraced and perpetuated by Marxists and other anti-Boxing Day revolutionaries.
The real origins of Boxing Day are perhaps lost in the Sands of Time, although it is known that Joseph and Mary needed something to do with the boxes that the Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh came in because everybody knows that there isn't much room on a donkey, and you don't want to attract any more attention to the taxman than is absolutely necessary.
It is also known that eons before Luddites emerged from the primeval muck and slime of the early primordial Industrial Age, Boxing Day was so named because it was a day of sport and games - most notably a form of boxing where sailors would don gloves for boxing whilst straddling the yardarms of their ships . . .
. . . although even this legend of Boxing Day gives some credo to Left-wing Class Warrior mythology, for it was the common seamen i.e. the proletariat who did the boxing from the yardarm whilst the officers - the bourgeoisie - observed from below and placed wagers not on who would win, but rather on which poor bastard would fall from the yardarm to a horrible crushing death at their very feet, on the deck below.
Further fuel for the Left's hatred of Boxing Day is the barbaric custom of the Annual Boxing Day Ride to the Hounds. Fox-hunting is, of course, a sport of the Aristocracy, heavily laden with the symbolism of Class Warfare. The fox is RED of course - the symbolism here is obvious - being pursued by the hounds, who represent the Military Class; perpetual servants and mindless tools of the Aristocracy, ever willing to do their bidding even to the point of death itself.
But do not the hunters themselves wear red jackets? Yes, but this is more symbolic of the Red Shirt of Star Trek infamy than anything to do with heroic Communist revolutionaries, for fox-hunting is a dangerous and often lethal sport, not only to the fox, but also to hound, horse and rider.
Indeed it is telling that the riders themselves describe their garb as "pinks" - i.e. the condescending attitude of the Aristocracy toward Socialist notions; their way of maintaining their status quo whilst transferring the burden of Socialist economics onto the backs of the Middle Class, who are represented by the horses themselves; a pampered group of slave-like beings subservient to, yet total adoration of the riders who harness and ride them, spur them on and never hesitate to bring the cruel riding crop down upon their rumps.
In other words the fox-hunting Aristocracy represents the epitome of Limousine Liberals and Country Club Republicans . . .
But while Lenin read a book on Marx and we sang dirges in the dark, the maritime origins of Boxing Day seem most evident in yachting's most magnificent spectacle, the annual Sydney-to-Hobart Race, which commences each Boxing Day and is best observed from the Southern Head to Sydney Harbour.
And so we see that class-envy inspired Leftist notions that fuel the War on Boxing Day are, like all class-ist myths created by Liberals, simply fuel for propaganda and nothing more. Boxing Day has nothing more to do with Marxist theories of class struggle than does Christmas, which is also under continual assault by atheists and other Liberals. Boxing Day - like it's sister holiday YULE symbolized by the Christmas Tree itself - has it's origins in the greatest maritime civilization ever to launch . . .
The true origin of Boxing Day was the day after the Yule-time party when the Vikings were allowed to take a day off from raiding and plundering, for it simply is not good planning to embark into battle while working off a heroic mead hangover. But being a warlike race, the Vikings would instead make symbolic combat by straddling their yardarms, donning gloves and duking it out until one or the other plunged into the cold waters of the icy fjord - for Viking yardarms are much longer than latter-day square riggers - INSTANT HANGOVER CURE and in the greatest traditions of Warrior Joie-de-Vivre and Esprit-de-Corp the loser becomes the winner and everybody has a good time on Boxing Day!
The Vikings were not stupid, despite modern-day modern historic re-visionism . . . the Vikings being quite possibly the most misunderstood culture of all time . . . the Viking Civilization itself was not a civilization as defined by other concepts such as the Roman Civilization, the Greek Civilization or the Egyptian Civilization . . .
The Viking Civilization has more in common with the modern phenomenon of Rock and Roll - they were the Rock Stars of their day, but instead of guitars they had ships of wood which had to be tuned just like guitars . . .
OK lads, Boxing Day is over, now pick up your swords and fight . . .
- STORMBRINGER SENDS