Friday, December 24, 2010


Waiting in line all day at two different government bureaucracies . . . all because I need a Pennsylvania state driver's license, so I won't be a VIOLATOR . . .

"Do you have two forms of ID?"

"Yes, here's my passport, and here's my US military ID."

"US military ID is no good."


"Because you don't have to be a US citizen to become a member of the US military."

"I know that - I wasn't a citizen when I signed up. But you can't be in twenty-plus years and make it to retirement without becoming a US citizen, and this is a RETIRED US military ID.  And anyway, this is a US PASSPORT, right here."

"Sorry, you will need your Social Security card, to get a Pennsylvania state driver’s license."

"My SOCIAL SECURITY CARD ? ? ? I haven't seen hide nor hair of THAT thing since before I joined the Army! And it doesn't even have a photograph on it, signature, nothing. Come to think of it, you don’t need to be a US citizen to get a Social Security number, anyway. I wasn’t, when I got mine. Besides, this US military ID card has my Social Security number ON IT."

"Sorry, sir; but you can join the US military without being a US citizen . . ."

Next stop, the Social Security Administration. That actually wasn't so bad - once you get over the government propaganda being transmitted over a 65-inch plasmatron, and the WAITING. They had The Social Security Story going in a fifteen-minute loop, so I got to watch of how FDR and Social Security saved America from the Great Depression about eight times over. This makes me wonder, of course, if putting people on the government dole is what it takes to get an economy out of the doldrums, then why don't we put EVERYBODY on the government payroll - we'll be back on track to being the greatest, richest, most powerful society in the history of the world, times ten million. Funny thing is, I thought World War II had something to do with it, and of course there was no mention of Social Security being a giant Ponzi scheme - but what do I know? I'm a philosopher, not an economist.

Back at the DMV - wife TigerLily is going nuts: "HEY! Our numbah neary rup, an dey CHANGE-A NUMBAH! I go up there, ask 'em whatta hell go on heah?"

"You got get 'em, TigerLily! Give 'em that angry Oriental routine!"

Guy in front of me turns around. "Man, I've got my passport, my Honorable Discharge from the Marine Corps . . ."

"That ain't good enough, man. Military means nothin' to these people."

"I'm nobody special or nothin', but its like four generations of my family served in the military - one of 'em a Medal of Honor recipient."

"You better not tell them THAT, they'll treat you like a second-class citizen!"

"NUMBER 369!"

"Oh that's us honey, let's go up there."

"Are you Mrs. TigerLily Stormbringer?"


"Please look into the eye exam machine.  What color do you see?"


"And what does red mean?"

"Red mean Stop."

"What color do you see now?"


"And what does green mean?"


"What color do you see now?"


"And what does yellow mean?"

"Yellow mean . . . GO FASTER."

"Very good, Ma’am. Now sign here, and here. Now go over there and have your picture taken. NEXT!"



  1. I had a similar odyssey back here in NC. I'd been using my Florida license but due to my pending retirement, had to get a NC license. First though, when they pulled up my old license they discovered that I had a ticket from 1982 which needed to be addressed first. That cost me $300.00. Then, I had to getmy SS card for the same reasons you described, which I did. Then, I had the state of Pennsylvania claim that I wasn't who I claimed to be!!! I had to prove to them who I was and THEN, get a letter from Pennsylvania stating that I was the REAL me. Then, I had to take the driving test (writen) THEN!!!.....I got my license.

    How many illegal aliens go through this process?

  2. Thanks for sharing. Love the TigerLily talk.

    Just remember, 0bama has at least 16 SS#'s tied to his name and addresses. The one currently used with WH addy was issued in Connecticut while he was a teenager in Hawaii....

    Tell me again why PA thinks SS are secure?

  3. I would be in jail. After cold cocking the arrogant jerk.
    In California when I got my license last January, I was allowed to use my Retired ID as proof of me. Plus the Kansas DL I was trading in.

  4. Well they don`t call them "SNIVEL SERVANTS" for nothing eh.

    Merry Christmas All & Much Prosperity In The New Year!

  5. Man it's just one thing after another for you! If it wasn't for bad luck, you wouldn't have any luck at all. I think next year you should put all this hassle behind you. You have had enough now. Time for things to go right!

    I needed a SS card to get my passport. I had a US birth certificate. Apparently it is not enough to be born here to prove citizenship. Interesting how the government cannot trust their own documents! Come to think of would be pretty easy to forge both of them.