President Obama announces US two-part response to Russian invasion of Crimea . . .
"There will be consequences . . . Putin WILL NOT, repeat, WILL NOT get a Christmas . . . oops, holiday card . . . from the Obama Administration this year . . ."
Obama fires verbs at Russian tanks:
"President Putin is apparently going about it legally. President Putin actually asked permission to use Russian military in Crimea, to secure the Russian naval base at Sebastopol and any nukes they have there."
A day after Obama warned Moscow that "there will be costs" if it intervenes militarily in Ukraine, the Russian parliament voted unanimously to grant President Vladimir Putin permission to mobilize the country's military in Ukraine.
Russian President Putin stated that these routine troop movements were needed to protect ethnic Russians and the personnel of a Russian military base in Ukraine's strategic region of Crimea.
Secretary of Defense announces Operation Paper Tiger:
"So now that things are nice and "legit" with an official invite," President Obama continued, "The Russkie soldiers can drop their ruse with the sterile fatigues."
"Our military intelligence guesses they used airborne forces to take the airfield at Simferapol and thay were backed up by existing naval infantry stationed at Sebastopol. I'm sure the European Union will recall how Russian airborne executed similar peacekeeping missions in Hungary 1958, Czechoslovakia in 1968 and of course Afghanistan 1979."
Secretary of State John Kerry advises:
"Just as before in Syria, when we say there will be a small response, a very small response, an INFINITESIMALLY small response we really, really mean it . . . and we really, really, really, REALLY mean it this time, too . . ."
"I think they'll probably leave rather quickly. I think a line in the sand has been drawn again, and those lines carry a lot of weight now a days."
Probably should check with Raglan and Cardigan, ask how it worked out for them . . .