Friday, January 31, 2014


This came across the email machine, anonymous. It'd be an honor to meet this young man, whoever he is; he's articulate, has a flare for colorful language and descriptive prose . . . S.L.

Scorpions, Chiggers & Sand Fleas . . . from a Recon Marine in Afghanistan:

From the Sand Pit: It's freezing here. I'm sitting on hard cold dirt between rocks and shrubs at the base of the Hindu Kush Mountains, along the Dar'yoi Pomir River, watching a hole that leads to a tunnel that leads to a cave.

Stake out, my friend, and no pizza delivery for thousands of miles.

I also glance at the area around my ass every ten to fifteen seconds to avoid another scorpion sting. I've actually given up battling the chiggers and sand fleas, but the scorpions give a jolt like a cattle prod. Hurts like a bastard. The antidote tastes like transmission fluid, but God bless the Marine Corps for the five vials of it in my pack.

The one truth the Taliban cannot escape is that, believe it or not, they are human beings, which means they have to eat food and drink water. That requires couriers and that's where an old bounty hunter like me comes in handy.

I track the couriers, locate the tunnel entrances and storage facilities, type the info into the handheld, and shoot the coordinates up to the satellite link that tells the air commanders where to drop the hardware.

We bash some heads for a while, and then I track and record the new movement.

It's all about intelligence. We haven't even brought in the snipers yet.

These scurrying rats have no idea what they're in for. We are but days away from cutting off supply lines and allowing the
eradication to begin.

But you know me; I'm a romantic. I've said it before and I'll say it

This country blows, man. It's not even a country. There are no roads, there's no infrastructure, there's no government. This is an inhospitable, rock pit shit hole ruled by eleventh century warring tribes. There are no jobs here like we know jobs.

Afghanistan offers two ways for a man to support his family, join the opium trade or join the army. That's it. Those are your options.

Oh, I forgot, you can also live in a refugee camp and eat plum-sweetened, crushed beetle paste and squirt mud like a goose with
stomach flu, if that's your idea of a party.

But the smell alone of those 'tent cities of the walking dead' is enough to hurl you into the poppy fields to cheerfully scrape bulbs for eighteen hours a day.

I've been living with these Tajiks and Uzbeks, and Turkmen and even a couple of Pushtuns, for over a month-and-a-half now, and this much I can say for sure:

These guys, all of 'em, are Huns . . . actual, living Huns . . . they LIVE to fight. It's what they do. It's ALL they do.

They have no respect for anything, not for their families, nor for each other, nor for themselves. They claw at one another as a way of life.

They play polo with dead calves and force their five-year-old sons into human cockfights to defend the family honor.

Huns, roaming packs of savage, heartless beasts who feed on each other's barbarism. Cavemen with AK-47's.

Then again, maybe I'm just cranky young bastard.

I'm freezing my ass off on this stupid hill because my lap warmer is running out of juice, and I can't recharge it until the sun comes up in a few hours.

Oh yeah! You like to write letters, right?

Do me a favor, Bizarre. Write a letter to CNN and tell Wolf and Anderson and that awful, sneering, pompous Aaron Brown to stop calling the Taliban 'smart.'

They are not smart. I suggest CNN invest in a dictionary because the word they are looking for is 'cunning.'

The Taliban are cunning, like jackals and hyenas and wolverines.

They are sneaky and ruthless, and when confronted, cowardly. They are hateful, malevolent parasites who create nothing and destroy
everything else.

Smart. Bullshit. Yeah, they're real smart.

They've spent their entire lives reading only one book (and not a very good one, as books go) and consider hygiene and indoor plumbing to be products of the Devil.

They're still figuring out how to work a Bic lighter.

Talking to a Taliban warrior about improving his quality of life is like trying to teach an ape how to hold a pen; eventually he just gets frustrated and sticks you in the eye with it. OK, enough.

Snuffy will be up soon, so I have to get back to my hole. Covering my tracks in the snow takes a lot of practice, but I'm good at it.

Please, I tell you and my fellow Americans to turn off the TV sets and move on with your lives.

The story line you are getting from CNN and other news agencies is utter bullshit and designed not to deliver truth but rather to keep you glued to the screen so you will watch the commercials.

We've got this one under control The worst thing you guys can do right now is sit around analyzing what we're doing over here, because you have no idea what we're doing, and really, you don't want to know.

We are your military, and we are only doing what you sent us here to do.

From a Saucy Jack Recon Marine in Afghanistan.

Semper Fi.

"Freedom is not free, but the U.S. Marine Corps will pay most of your share".



  1. Soulnds like a good lad. Writes better than any Recon jock I knew in my younger days.
    I'd like to stand him to a pint or three when he returns...
    Will keep the good thought for him...
    Boat Guy

  2. Sadly, pretty much how I've imagined it to be all along despite what the media wants me to believe.

    And yes, that's good writing. Honest. I'd love to meet this guy, just to hear what else he has to say.

    - Viking Mia

  3. Absolute effing prose brilliance.
    Should be narrated as voice over, and broadcast hourly on Fox, in lieu of "war updates".

    "America isn't at war. The Marines are at war. The Army is at war.

    America is at the f***ing mall."
    -graffiti from Southwest Asia,circa 2006

    1. Sorry the letter is false.

    2. You are very correct in you observation. The USA schools still teach that the War in Vietnam was lost! Bull Shit! When I left in 1968, it was well in hand. When Nixon pulled all troops out, it was well in hand. Congress gave the country back to the Communists, Not the fighting men in uniform. It's the "shit heads" in suits and ties, collecting big bucks from agents of wealth.

  4. Where do we find men like this? I love them, every one.

  5. That's actually an old post. I've got it as an email dated in March of 2009. Doesn't make it any the less true, though. AF is a *hit hole, and that's a fact.

  6. This has been going around since 2001, actually. It originally was written in British English, and signed "Saucy Jack" -- a very English signoff, and purported to be a British Royal Marine, when there were actually none.

    Afg does suck balls, but the fauna described in this imaginative but of fiction are not all found in the same areas. Not many bugs at high altitudes, for example.

    I don't know why people massage and update this stuff and send it along. Because they want it to be true, probably.

    1. What he did not make note of is the rape of small boys from the area, if it is Afghanistan the Marine is writing about. It sounds like a "shit hole" alright. Semper Fidelis.

  7. Right O mate, last time I read, the Tajiks, huns, (cavemen) whoever, were playing polo with a battered skull (maybe goat).
    GOD bless our Military!

  8. Shame that they never listened to us in Nam! Semper Fi Brother. I would share a pint or two with you anytime.

  9. GOD Bless ya'll !

    WAR IS A RACKET ! - LT. GEN. Smedley Butler

  10. Impressive writing, sure beats the hell out of the moron media.

  11. Semper Fi Bro, 1st Marines 66-67 Nam. CNN and all other liberal media outlets would not tell the truth for fear of upsetting obamma.

  12. Thank God for America!
    You have been keeping the world in check.
    Vietnam sent out a good signal to the rest of the worlds rejects to stay where you are or suffer.
    The world owes you many favours and as your gratefull friends we stand by you thanks from Australia for your efforts

  13. Might be what's going on over there but the letter is false. Check SNOPES.

  14. There was a famous rascist in the 1950's named Bilbo about whom it was said, "never mistake animal cunning for intelligence." I was reminded of this by your description of the Taliban.

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