Sunday, June 14, 2009


Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a crusty old Army Special Forces Team Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged through the streets.

Katie Couric said, "Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Charlie Gibson said, "I live in New York, so I'd like to hear the song 'The Moon and Me' one last time." The terrorists' leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was satisfied.

Brian Williams said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want a tape recorder so I can describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments. He then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. American War Criminal, what is your final wish?"

"Kick me in the ass," said the Green Beret.

"What?" asked the leader, "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm NOT kidding. I want YOU to kick ME in the ASS!!!" insisted the Green Beret.

So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the behind. The Green Beret went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled his 9 mm pistol from inside his waistband and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm into six terrorists, with his knife he slashed the throat of one with an AK-47, which he took, and sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another eleven!

In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives. As the Green Beret was untying Couric, Gibson and Williams, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the behind?"

"What!?!" replied the Green Beret, "and have you three report that I was the aggressor....?"