I kid you not, this came in the Sean Linnane Inbox . . .
We are looking for someone to get the children ready in the morning, prepare and clear up the family's breakfast, make the beds, and take the children to school, which is about a 1.5km walk away. The Au pair would then need to pick them up at 3.20 and look after them until we get home. We will ask the Nursing assistance/Au pair to babysit 1-2 evenings a week.
There is a cleaner, so there wouldn't be any heavy housework; a bit of light cleaning and laundry which would take about 90 minutes a day in total. There would be plenty of time free in the day to go to language school, and there are a lot of good ones in the area.
The Nursing assistance/Au pair would have her own room, which is huge, and has a double bed, with sitting area and TV/DVD/Video/Hi-Fi. There is wireless broadband internet in the house.
Working hours: 0730 to 0900 and 1520 to 1930 plus about 60-90 minutes of housework a day to fit in with the Au pair's schedule. 25-30 hours a week.
Benefit: 1400 Pounds every four weeks plus a pocket money of 300 Pounds per week for the buying of some things for your self and I will also be responsible for some of the funds for your traveling documents.
Send your resume to firstname.lastname@example.org
Okay, lets see if they like what I have to offer here:
Twenty-five years US Army, served on Special Forces Operational Detachments ‘Alpha’ (SFODA's) as Senior Engineer Sergeant, Intelligence and Assistant Operations NCO, and Operations Sergeant (Team Sergeant).
18C Special Forces Engineer (Demolitions), SFARTAEC (Breacher)
Special Forces Combat Diver, USMC Combatives Instructor, US Army Jumpmaster.
Extensive operational experience, languages include French, Spanish, Thai and a working knowledge of Arabic.
Instructor, Survival/Evasion/Resistance/Escape (SERE) Level C, US Army John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center & School, Ft. Bragg NC.
Trained US and foreign Special Forces in tactics, marksmanship & Close Quarter Battle (CQB)
Rifle Expert, Pistol Expert, passed Army Physical Fitness Test. Current Security Clearance.
EDUCATION: Bachelor of Science (cum laude)
As a Special Forces Engineer, I can "change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, con a ship, operate and pull maintenance on any kind of vehicle . . .
. . . design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently and die gallantly."
Let's see . . . 2600 Pounds = 4,270.86 USD a month . . . hmmm . . .
. . . I dunno . . . sounds like an awful lot of work for that kind of scratch . . .
. . . S.L.