Friday, February 26, 2010


The Commanding Officer at the Russian Military Academy (the equivalent of a 4-star general in the U.S.) gave a lecture on Potential Problems and Military Strategy. At the end of the lecture, he asked if there were any questions.

An officer stood up and asked, "Will there be a third world war? And will Russia take part in it?"

The general answered both questions in the affirmative.

Another officer asked, "Who will be the enemy?"

The general replied, "All indications point to China."

Everyone in the audience was shocked. A third officer remarked, "General, we a nation of only 150 million, compared to the 1.5 billion Chinese. Can we win at all, or even survive?"

The general answered, "Just think about this for a moment: In modern warfare, it is not the quantity of soldiers that matters but the quality of an army's capabilities. For example, in the Middle East there have been several wars over the past forty years where 5 million Jews fought against 150 million Arabs, and Israel was always victorious."

After a small pause, yet another officer from the back of the auditorium asked:

"Do we have enough Jews??"




  1. I love that story. And the punchline is great, too. Thanks.

  2. This is a little off topic but then again maybe it's not:

    Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day.

    “Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” he asks:
    “Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?”

    David’s father thinks a bit, then says “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”

    “Osama Bin Laden,” David says.

    “Why Osama Bin Laden,” his father asks in shock.

    “Well,” David says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he’d love everyone a lot. And then he’d start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.”

    His father’s heart swells and he looks at his boy with new found pride.

    “David, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard.”

    “I know,” David says, “and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of him.”