Saturday, August 28, 2010

YOU MIGHT BE A LIBERAL IF . . .

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you know gender is a social construct, but have no idea where electricity comes from.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you think the "evil" of Stalinist regimes is overstated and the tyranny of the American regime is never stated enough.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you believe portraying Bush as the Joker is political satire, but portraying Obama as the Joker is racist.




You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . if you believe Glenn Beck is an extremist because Keith Olbermann told you so.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . if you think America is a cesspool of fat lobotomized WalMart Jesusbots who have the gall to question your patriotism.


Code Pink Activist


You might be a liberal if . . .


. . . you believe in the separation of Church and State; Mosque and State, not so much.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you believe that hurricanes are caused by people, and that crime is caused by the environment.


U.S. Marine Corps Recruiting Station, Berkeley California


You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you think that treating all people equally, regardless of race, is racist.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you burn tons of carbon to attend a global warming conference that only sanctions the cleanest nation on Earth.




You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you believe in having dialog with your opponents, and that they'd better shut up during this dialog.




You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you think everyone would agree with you if they were open minded, and you refuse to listen to any other possibility.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you believe that a mosque should be built at Ground Zero, but Jews shouldn't build apartments in East Jerusalem.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . if all your political arguments contain the phrase, "It's Bush's fault."

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you believe that Pro-Life violates right of privacy, but you want to tell people they can't eat french fries.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you believe that immersing a crucifix in urine is fine art, but depicting the prophet Mohammed is insensitive.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you think the problem is that Obama is just too darn moderate.




You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you spend your day telling people that a border fence can't work, then drive home to your gated community.




You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you think Sarah Palin was too inexperienced to be VP but that Obama had plenty of experience to be President.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you think the Right needs to be rounded up in camps to prevent them from acting like Nazis.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you think credit card companies are evil when they lend money, and mortgage companies are evil when they don't.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you believe education is A) the single most critical key to our future, and B) impossible to measure.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you think people have too many kids, and that those kids need to pay for your Social Security.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you think the Government should be obsessed with race, but no one else should ever mention it.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you think banks earning money on interest is wrong, but paying interest to China on the national debt is just peachy.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you think subsidies are an entitlement, tax cuts are a gift, and liberty is a controlled substance.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you totally hate haters, and wish those violent bastards would just die.




You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you've ever worried about the threat of Tea Party violence during a Dick Cheney heart attack thread on Kos.




You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you are running low on Valium this weekend due to Glenn Beck's Restoring Honor Rally.




This priceless brilliance came to me via the Twitter phenomenon . . . S.L.

21 comments:

  1. This is brilliant! They are all spot on and describes liberals to a T.

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  2. outstanding quotes! Thanks for the work.

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  3. I have to memorize this.

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  4. Mostly hilarious, except this one: "You might be a liberal if ... you believe that a mosque should be built at Ground Zero, but Jews shouldn't build apartments in East Jerusalem."
    There is nothing authentically good or "conservative" about the Israelis bullying virtually helpless Palestinians off their land in East Jerusalem with enormous American financial & military support. There is nothing "conservative" about the strong brutalizing the weak.

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  5. Anonymous:

    A) You obviously don't know what the hell you're talking about, and

    B) You're not a conservative . . . YET

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  6. Please School Me Storm. What right do Israelis have stealing land and brutally expelling Palestinians from their homes to build a settlement? And define "conservative." What are you trying to "conserve"? I'm simply trying to "conserve" the natural moral law ... such as, "It is always wrong to brutalize and steal from the weak and innocent." Am I wrong? I'd conclude, that if you think it is OK to brutalize and and steal from the weak and innocent, you're not a "conservative." Show me where I'm wrong.

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  7. natural moral law/what is that????/not been sarcastic but is that the same reasoning that states; a rat, is a monkey, is a boy or something to that effect?????
    lets clear the air some; Moral Law given by a Moral Law Giver/God/ and then the attempt by some to create their on moral law/still on the works/about the poor palestinians; they don't exist, they are people from Egypt, Lebanon, SA, Libya and every other Muslim country/why do they go to Canaan?/because Israel will give them work/medical and a descent life/what do the PA gives them/DEATH/by the way the PA bosses are the some of the richest arabs in that part of the world/financial help goes to their accounts and nowhere else. Jordan puts down "palestinian" rebellions and kills them by the bushel/Lebanon just finished reducing some of their "palestinian" problems up north/get away from the MSM garbage and what do you get; the average resident don't want nothing to do with the PA or a palestinian state or their enlighten leadership/I have always found it intriguing that the hate for Israel side steps any common sense.

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  8. Ridiculous ektor. It is always amazing to me how Zionists change the subject, and then absent any argument for defending the indefensible, have recourse to their only mantra defense: ad hominem their interlocutor by simply dismissing them as "hating" their party. How do you know a Zionist has lost an argument? They stat charging “anti-Semitism.” While charging me with "hating" the people you are defending, your champions continue to expand their settlements into territory which is not theirs, which is not recognized to be theirs by ANY other foreign government, including the United States. And what are their tactics? Bludgeoning the women and children they have been economically choking for decades and stealing their possessions. Does this qualify as “hate” to you? Palestinians were there for 2,000 years prior to 1948, and all of your diversions and rationalizations don’t justify one act of injustice against them … nor America’s and the Republican Party’s complicity with those acts of injustice … financing them.

    I stand by my statement, “There is nothing authentically good or ‘conservative’ about the Israelis bullying virtually helpless Palestinians off their land in East Jerusalem with enormous American financial & military support. There is nothing ‘conservative’ about the strong brutalizing the weak.”

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  9. If the tenant of the prez from Iran was true and the Zionist came from somewhere in the Balkans and or Russia then I would have to give you the bow and tip the hat but the problem unravels when you read some of Hemingway's description of palestinia prior to the coming of the Jews/not even dogs would live there. As to the sing-song about the rightful owner of Canaan you have to go to basic history;
    The Balfour Declaration of 1917 (dated 2 November 1917) was a formal statement of policy by the British government stating that

    "His Majesty's government view with favour the establishment in Palestine of a national home for the Jewish people, and will use their best endeavours to facilitate the achievement of this object, it being clearly understood that nothing shall be done which may prejudice the civil and religious rights of existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine, or the rights and political status enjoyed by Jews in any other country."[1]

    The countries that hedge in Israel were created by the end of WWI, they never existed prior to that/must of those countries gained most of their people when the war for survival of the Jewish state started in 1948/ the massive exodus from Canaan was caused by the rulers of
    of the Arab nations that opposed the Jewish state. The massive slum problem created was a propaganda coup at home and not until the 60's in the rest of the world.

    And NO the palestinians were not there prior to 1948/the only thing there was the control of the Ottoman Empire/in response to the savage treatment of the defenseless let's clear this one up/do the show for the cameras gets them beaten up/yep/do women and children are killed by Israeli YES specially when they are transported to the location of rocket launchers/mortars/anti aircraft gun emplacements and other places the Israel identifies as targets ahead of the strike. Why kill their own because is a good propaganda victory all over the middle-east/

    About the statement that the palestinians where there for 2,000 years prior to 1948/come on/why do we have a KJV of the bible that was translated in 1611 with the work started in 1604/and this Bible do not talks of no palestinians but of the promise of God to the Jews/their land and no ones else.

    And about hating/cooled brother/I love a good argument specially if it forces me to think and research/that's my cup of tea/green at that/ and I must add you last post is very hot/hmmm

    will continue to check on this post/hope to read your answering argument soon
    have a good day

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    1. Ever heard of punctuation? Or/do/you/just/expect/anyone/to/understand.

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  10. to continue ...

    Jesus Christ fulfills the old covenant with the new. The old is subsumed into the new. His new wine is placed in the new wineskins of his Church, founded on the 12 apostles (fulfilling the 12 tribes of Israel), and their historical and true heirs the Pope and the bishops in communion with him. For this reason the Catholic Church calls herself “the New Israel,” and the “New People of God.” Those who reject Christ are heretics and to say they have a right to the promises of Abraham is further heresy.

    Bad theology brings about the bloody injustices in the Middle East. And I suggest you go there sometime. You’ll witness for yourself that everything I say here is true. And don’t forget, many of those Palestinians who are being brutalized by the Israelis with American tax dollars are your Christian brethren.

    Finally, if you want to see the extent to which the Israel Lobby and their American media will misrepresent the President of Iran, watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onNzrNEFs1E&annotation_id=annotation_86519&feature=iv Don't believe everything you hear, especially if it is on American television.

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  11. ektor,

    The post of mine above (12:39 AM) is only the continuation of a longer post I made before then.

    Apparently our host doesn't like what I said so it was removed. If you would like to continue this discussion, you can write me at mitch33@hotmail.com.

    God Bless.

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  12. fuck, you all are weird. As a proud liberal who served in the norwegian army, i must say its peculiar to find that you folks are 5 years old and that i am your enemy. I wouldnt trust you with a screwdriver.

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  13. Preaching to the choir is great fun.

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  14. its annoying that the liberals always say conservatives get their morals from "God". im an athiest, always have been, and that doesnt keep me from having logical political beliefs. i cant stand the mindless liberal sheep sometimes, but at least there are other intelligent people out there. Of course, i cant say any of the intelligent ones were liberal

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  15. I dont know that much about american liberalism, but here in Norway, we liberals fight for equal rights for all. Race, ethnicity and religion is irrelevant. We want everyone to have the option to marry, not only straight people. We want to give everyone the option to join the army, not only straight people. Now lets get this straight. Bush was NOT a very good president. Good education and good teachers are very important. You cant deny that if people were openminded they would understand that every human being on this planet have equal rights and they all deserve to be treated with respect. Now im just gonna go ahead and guess that you vote republican. I wonder, what do you think of your representatives? I mean, the winner of a debate wasn't the best one, but rather the one that messed up the least.

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  16. You might be a liberal if . . .
    ... you claim conservatives are haters as you wish anyone who eats at Chick-Fil-A gets cancer.

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  17. Jesus you idiots, no one hates true conservatives. They hate what is passing as a conservative. Most of the conservative policies that have wrecked our economy aren't so conservative as they are a business agreement between the new right and the super wealthy. There is nothing wrong with being rich, but when someone becomes so wealthy that they can buy and sell your freedom, that's when the American dream dies.

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  18. george carlin must be chuckling at this scene

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  19. Lol shows that you non-liberals or whatever you're supposed to be have no idea what liberal is or just how incredibly right-wing the Democratic Party is.

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